In today’s world, sadly many first marriages will often turn into second marriages and even a third. The possibility of marriages blending two families together at some point becomes the norm for adults and the dreaded for the children. What’s more, parents are usually so locked into the notion of finding love again, that often the needs of the child are left unattended and remain that way for the term of the marriage.

Parents should be parents first and foremost but that isn’t always the case. Often, when a marriage falls apart, the children of the marriage go basically unnoticed until they create some sort of trouble which brings them into true focus. Then, it’s almost always too late for the families to find a way to reel their kids back in and to help them through the adjustment period.

When kids watch their families fall apart, they often fall apart unless both parents make the effort to keep some sort of family unit together for family occasions and holidays. Often, parents find another significant other and the children are pushed aside.

Suddenly, the children meet a new love interest from one or both parents and soon afterwards, the news of an engagement follows. At some point the children of one person are introduced to the children of the other and soon the thought of living with complete strangers becomes a very real reality.

Put yourself in the child’s shoes for a moment. Does this sound like something to look forward to or does it sound like something that should be dreaded with every inch of their being? As teenagers, they likely dread it with every inch of their being. Sharing the bathroom with complete strangers can be mortifying to a teenage girl especially if she ends up in a blended family with teenage boys.

While many adults seem to put their needs before the needs of their children when blending a family through a marriage that probably could wait, children and teenagers find themselves in an unfamiliar place. Some of these kids will try drugs and some will end up heavy drinkers and the parents will look the other way just so they can have what they want.

Blended families can work well if parents plan ahead and introduce the kids early in the relationship. Vacationing together and dinners out are likely to work well for a long while before everyone moves in together. Consider everyone before taking the leap into marriage again. Not for your sake but for the sake of your children.

Tags: Marriage and Family, Marriage, Family